Time

It's our biggest enemy yet arguably the most precious thing we have. 

Time works against us, for us, with us and is all around us. Funny enough, it's something we yearn for. And equally, it's something we despise.

Time has always seemed to come and go, but even more so now that my life has grown. Now that I have a family, time escapes my clutches faster than I can blink. I simply want it all to stop; stand still if you will. I want her first steps back. I want her to need me to hang on to when she was learning to walk. I want her first time she rolled over to play over and over again. I want to relive every single moment that has made my heart flutter with joy. Which is basically everyday since I found out I was pregnant with my Olivia. I tell my boyfriend everyday that she is growing too fast. Time is my enemy right now.

I take endless photos of every moment, while some moments are kept to store in my own memory. I call those my take it in memories. The moment she falls asleep on my chest. The moments she kisses me on the lips and giggles. The mornings in bed on weekends. I could go on and on.

I have found over time--that time itself is inevitable. It's terrible, it's selfish, and it's not always in our hands. All we can do is savor every moment of our lives. It's difficult to come to grasps with the concept of time and all its inglorious trials. But time with my Olivia is what I prayed for. Time with my family is what I have always longed for. 

The only injustice we could ever do to ourselves, is to waste time. I spend my days carefully enjoying the moments. I choose this over that, because it means more time with Olivia. I regret days wasted. 

Time is all we have in this world. And it will always be by your side, if you choose to let it be. 

TinyHumanTamer

Taming a tiny human

I find my new user name quite appropriate these days. My life changes everyday. It changes every week, and every month. Though there is consistency throughout, life with a tiny human calls for constant change. 

Olivia is 1 year and 2 months today and I can't believe how much she is changing. I try to take in every second. My brain is filled with countless memories and priceless moments. A couple weeks ago I had a blessing in disguise. During one of the hardest couple weeks of my life I had sort of a revelation. 

Both of my grandpa's passed away in the same week. Our family, on both sides, were grieving the loss of two great people with very long lived lives. During those two weeks, i was fortunate enough to be able to take time off from work to grieve. I was having a very difficult time with everything. But staying home meant having my Olivia with me all day long. And during these two weeks, she learned to walk and she learned to pick herself up when she fell, and she said a couple new words. The best part--I was there for these moments. This difficult time turned out to be sort of a blessing in disguise. I was able to be there for these special and one time moments. 

Now, as a working mother and devoted girlfriend to my gorgeous man, I am always occupied. Life is very busy. So I'm obsessed with being there for these moments if I am able to be. Like ridiculously obsessed. To the point where I have an internal meltdown if I'm not there. I know it seems crazy but my fellow working momma's will understand my sentiments. 

Life is a whirlwind. It's been crazy, but wonderful. I fully intend to start writing more now. I miss it with such a passion in my heart and my soul longs for the pen each day. I still have dreams of me sitting at that window, typing away, sipping on a latte and I'm at peace with everything. Seems simple enough. Yet so far away. 

I can honestly say being a full time working mom on a tiny human is a lot of work. And so is taming her. I may be the tiny human tamer, but my sweet Olivia tames me in so many wonderful ways. 

TinyHumanTamer